Church Key

In a word: Locked Out of Heaven.

The specs: #00822  
626 University Ave., 53715
Details at

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JM and Nichole ate some waffle fries and battered mushrooms.
The bill was $9, or $4.50/person, plus tip.
JM gave Church Key a D; Nichole gave Church Key a D- (see our grading rubric).

You don't have to enter Church Key to appreciate its best feature, the clever name. But instead, Church Key is like half remembered moments.

Frat-ish boys playing darts.

T-shirts that dare one to drink.

Darkly lit pool tables.

Jay-Z pumped up to 19.

Out of about 30 patrons, just one woman at the bar and two women bartenders representing their sex.

A late night menu of apps including our choices and even less interesting fare.

Fries that were too soggy and not flavored as described.

Mushrooms that were okay, but suffered from the reheating a bit.

Over half our order going into the trash because we couldn't bring ourselves to finish it.

Us discussing that we shouldn't go back, as there is just nothing there for us.