Pizza Hut

In a word: Don't book it.

The specs: #0487  
Address, hours & details via Isthmus; reviews at Madison Hot Bite, ; official web site.

JM and Nichole ate the house salad, Hawaiian deep dish, and an order of Hershey's sticks.
The bill was $21, or $10.50/person, plus tip (with coupon).
JM and Nichole gave Pizza Hut a C- (see our grading rubric).

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Pizza Hut wasn't very good. We liked it better when it was a prize for reading a whole bunch in elementary school. The recipes probably haven't changed.  No one joined us for this culinary foray and we cannot blame them.  Ugh. Even the decor made us pine for the sunnier climes of Russian literature such as Dostoevsky or Tolstoy.

JM was pleasantly surprised by the Hershey's Dessert Sticks that we got because they were on special. Basically pizza dough with Hershey's milk and white chocolate melted on top, and dark syrup on the side for dipping, it's pretty good. It gives you the breadstick experience, plus offering two different flavors of chocolate (sweet and bitter).  Of all the things we got, it was the only thing that could ever merit a special trip.

Once again we'll let our friend Eric eloquently sum up. He wisely declined the experience for the nostalgia:

This, once, was the dream.  Gingham plasticized tablecloths, placemats with activities on the back.  Begging my parents for quarters to drop into the cocktail arcade cabinet versions of the barrel monkey, his kid, or the hungry yellow pie and his wife -- their joysticks smooth and clean, polished with the grease of a thousand deep-dished hands.  I'm getting misty-eyed just thinking about it.  Something beautiful died on the day some jerk threw a pizza in a box and drove it.  That something beautiful was the Hut.

Comments

[Parintachin.blogspot.com]

Eric, that was just beautiful man. (wipes away nostalgic tear)

[Kyle]

In the last couple months, the wife and I have had odd cravings for Pizza Hut. We've given in twice. The last time was earlier this week, where we got two pizzas and five breadsticks for $15.

It should have been obvious from the very start that this was a bad idea. I think we're done with Pizza Hut for another few years.

[Timmy]

Should be an F-... inedible and unhealthy pseudo-food.

[Jim]

I understand it is unconscionable to enjoy a mass-market pizza, but I really like Pizza Hut's offerings nonetheless. I give an A- for their pepperoni stuffed crust pizza.

That being said, I also understand there is a certain "indie street cred" at stake in the vibrant world of food criticism, so I'll lodge no complaints for this review.

[nichole]

*Glances around, puzzled*

Did you mean us? We have indie street cred? I was sure we'd lost any chance at that, way before Papa John's, even. Thanks, I think.

[Kyle]

Yeah, name-checking the Book-It! program is very street. Got my holographic star stickers on the tread'a my kicks, ya heard??

[Jim]

Once again, tongue-in-cheek sarcasm fails on the internet, lacking a clearly-defined font style. We should have a worldwide summit on this - I submit green italicized typeface as a candidate. But I digress.

Admittedly, Papa John's was a puzzling anomaly, especially since their pizzas usually lack the key element I look for in any food, mainly good flavor. That being said, national chains reviewed on this site generally lose at least one letter grade just for being a chain, so I guess it's usually best to read those with a grain of salt, and weigh them accordingly.

I'm not suggesting Pizza Hut is the single best slice in Madison, far from it in fact, but it's definitely not "inedible" "pseudo-food," as suggested by Timmy (unhealthy, maybe, but it's pizza fer chrissakes!), and by far the best of the chains. And while I hate to invoke a logical fallacy, they must be doing something right if they can maintain such a stranglehold on the world pizza market.

[Jim]

Or maybe I'm just biased because I usually eat their pizza in a much nicer environment, namely my own house. That's probably worth at least a letter grade bump from their apparently dour east side location.

[Kyle]

Certainly, being able to buffet financial troubles by way of the twin buoys of Taco Bell and a lifetime affiliation with PepsiCo can't hurt that stranglehold.

Logical fallacy met and countered.

[John]

I can actually side with Jim on this one, although with a healthy dose of guilty pleasure. I personally have no qualms with Pizza Hut. Maybe it's the childhood memories, or maybe it's the fact that I want my pizza to seem as unhealthy as I can get it.

But Pizza Hut has always been perfectly good to me, especially the buffet. In fact, I haven't been to one without getting the buffet in forever, which appeases both the pizza fan and the glutton in me in one fell swoop. I might change my tune if, say, Glass Nickael had an all-you-can-eat buffet, but for the time being I got no issue with the Hut.

Oh, and the mexian pizza thing (with the Doritos on it) - that's just nifty.

[Ken]

If Jim meant "best" NATIONAL pizza chain I would understand, but if REGIONAL pizza chains are included, I would vote for Happy Joes, easily the best [no quotes] chain pizza I have ever had [and what I grew up on]. Not as cheap as Pizza Hut, etc, but worth every penny.

I completely agree there are MUCH better pizza places around, but I DO like their lunch buffet occasionally and have to admit I LOVE the cheese stuffed crust [wish all pizza places had their version of that].

[dac]

C- is a fair grade. Edible, some menu items better, some worse (I too have a soft spot for the Taco Pizza with the Doritos). It's not great, but if you have a car full of kids and need someplace to eat in a Town your not familiar with, I would recommend it.

[Amanda]

I like Pizza Hut. Here is what you could have ordered for a more interesting/yummy pizza experience:
1) American Chicken Club (has mayo instead of sauce, and tastes way better than a sandwich)
2) The Badger Special (sausage, mushroom, and extra cheddar)
3) My own invention: no sauce, extra-extra cheese, and shrimp on a thin crust. So yummy!

Thin crust and pan style are both delicious. Stuffed crust is ok if you like that kind of thing. Hand-tossed is kinda dry and boring, neither spongy nor crispy, a total waste of time. Also, I don't really like the ham at Pizza Hut. It also doubles as "Canadian Bacon" and has a strong salty flavor.

I was surprised last year when I saw their new menu, trying to copycat The Olive Garden. They were featuring all these Italian-esque pasta concoctions, overpriced appetizers, and featured wine pairings. I remember thinking they were getting sidetracked from what they do best, which is good old fashioned pizza and salad bar.

[Steve]

I hate pizza hut because of their hand tossed and pan style crust. It is a cakey/oily mess and unlike anything I ever come across. This pizza seems good when you are young and have no idea what real pizza should be. Stick with Roman Candle or Greenbush. Maria's in Oregon isn't bad either.

I agree with the Pizza Hut fond childhood memories. I also have great memories of Shakey's Pizza on the corner of East Washington and Hwy 51 (now a China buffet).