In a word: Render unto Smoothie King that which is Smoothie King's.
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JM ate the strawberry kiwi smoothie.
Nichole ate the carrot and kale smoothie.
We got free samples of a chocolate banana smoothie.
The bill was $12.01, or $6.005/person, plus tip.
JM and Nichole both gave Smoothie King a B (see our grading rubric).
From the moment we walked into Smoothie King's realm we felt like we had to be working harder, much harder, to be perfect. Protein powder kegs line the walls; meal-replacement smoothies beef up the menu. Smoothie King might serve sweet cold blended drinks ostensibly like its chipper chill cousin Jamba Juice and fun fruit-forward friend Fresh Cool Drinks, or almost any coffee house in town. But here smoothies are no sideline, they are The Way: it's smoothie-Pelagianism, pure and simple.
The menu is indeed packed with vegetable and fruit options, superfruit add-ins and protein boosts that could provide endless science-y tweaks to each cup. That said, the staff were normal, friendly people, and not so obsessed with fitness that they didn't offer us a tasty sample of a chocolate-banana concoction while we waited (very briefly) for our beginner's smoothies, even though we moseyed in just obnoxious moments before closing time.
Nichole's carrot kale deal was cool and refreshing; JM's sweet, creamy strawberry kiwi was standard if a little less fruity probably because of the other mix-ins. It was certainly something he would get again, however.
So, even if it is a little law-heavy, Smoothie King is also where you get your Super Weight Gain 2000 ("for the hard gainers") and admonishments to drink your vegetables from hippies ("since 1973"). Fair enough.